Family Division
Mediation for Divorcing or Separating Couples
Q. What is Marital Mediation?
Marital Mediation is a process of assisted negotiation designed to help divorcing or separating couples discuss the issues involved in divorce or legal separation, make their own decisions, and reach resolution on their differences. It allows the individuals, rather than the courts, to decide the outcome of disputes. Topics for mediation include:
- decision making authority for children involved
- parenting time, rights and responsibilities
- financial support and responsibilities
- post divorce issues
- property division
- children's education
- health and insurance needs
Q. How Does Mediation Work?
During mediation, assisted by a neutral third party called a mediator, parties clarify issues, discuss the interests and needs of each person, explore options for solution and establish a common understanding of each family member's future rights and responsibilities.
Unlike the court process, which is very formal and focuses on legal issues and procedures, mediation takes place in a flexible, discussion oriented environment focusing on the specific needs of the restructured family. It is a constructive, cooperative and confidential approach to resolving conflict.
Q. What is the Mediator's Role?
The mediator is an impartial party, professionally trained in facilitating dispute resolution. The mediator does not provide legal advice, take sides, or make decisions for you. The mediator's role is to facilitate discussion, to focus on the future and to help the parties reach agreements that are fair and enforceable.
You may seek legal advice at any time during the mediation process.
Q. Why is Mediation Suggested for Divorcing or Separating Couples?
Mediation provides an opportunity for constructive communication to occur and helps make the transition from conflicting spouse to cooperating parent -- in order to discuss the future needs of the family as the children grow and former spouses move on with their lives. Mediation is typically less expensive and quicker than a litigated divorce. Most importantly, research shows that agreements made in mediation by the parties themselves are more likely to be honored by the parties than are court decrees, in which a third person has made decisions for them. When parties cooperatively determine their own solutions, with the special needs of their future and that of their family members in mind, they become committed to their obligations and are more likely to continue cooperating as time goes on. While a marriage may end, parenting responsibilities do not.
Mediation may not be appropriate in situations where there is child abuse or domestic violence.
Q. How is the Court Involved?
The Family division supports mediation and offers court referred mediation by New Hampshire certified mediators at all Family Division locations. At the conclusion of the mediation, the mediator may put your agreements into writing. When approved by a judge (or marital master), your agreements will become legally binding court orders (stipulations). If you are able to come to agreement on some but not all, of the issues in your divorce, the mediator may write those agreements for the court, at your request. Mediation does not replace the legal process of obtaining a divorce; it does allow you (instead of the court) to create the terms of your divorce.
Q. How Do I Get More Information about Mediation?
You may go to the New Hampshire Certified Mediation Board website.
